god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
