your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
