so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
