My nipple is on Facebook.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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