Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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