You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
