Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
