I wish I could punch you in the face.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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