I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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