just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
