When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
