well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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