thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
