So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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