You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my sisters under your porch take her home
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
