I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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