Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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