I wanna bring you to show and tell
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
