well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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