This girl is more easily done than said...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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