I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize