Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
