oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
