how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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