I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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