There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize