the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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