if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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