You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
