Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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