hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
