i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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