I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
