I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
