Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

she kept yelling 'call me bella'

Fav 54 1156 5630
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(703): View more from Virginia

i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!

(804): View more from Virginia

Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!

(703): View more from Virginia

well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.

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(217): View more from Illinois

yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?

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(914): View more from New York

I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.

Fav 6 1002 2274
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(989): View more from Michigan

I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.

Fav 1 518 271
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail

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