dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
