is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
