K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the day after is always just damage control
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
