oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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