how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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