Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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