Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
