Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
