Don't EVER smell your tampon
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
MIDGETS
????
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Text me some of your sweat
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
