Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
