I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
