Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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