im having a threesome with these popsicles
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
