She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
