i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
