WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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