Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
