I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
