Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
